Home and back again
Writing the title for this post, I’m reminded of the Hobbit – I’m sure the book Bilbo writes is called “There and Back again”, or something similar. Bilbo leaves his home in the Shire to have an epic adventure, and then he comes back. If you’re wondering why I’m waffling on about the Hobbit, it’s because I’ve just done something very similar – just in reverse. After one of the most memorable and adventurous years of my life, I travelled home to the UK for three weeks of friends, family and festivities, before returning to do it all over again in Vancouver.
It’s a funny thing, going home after being away for so long. As I tried (and failed) to explain to so many people at home, coming back felt like slipping back into an old coat that’s been tucked away in the back of the cupboard. It’s comfortable, it’s familiar, and most importantly – it feels like you never took it off.
Home was so, so wonderful. I fell back into the old rhythms of home faster than you can say “Hogmanay” (If you’re a bit lost, that’s the Scottish word for New Year. Get yourself up there, sharpish). Buying cheese in the cave-like corridor that is L J Mellis on Victoria Street. Sipping mulled cider in the White Hart. Battling the bracing winds while climbing Arthur’s Seat. Forcing myself to go for a run around the Meadows. Drinking (too much) prosecco with some of my oldest friends, abandoning the table to sit in a tangled pile on the floor, like we were 15 again.
My old habits surrounded me, adornments of a past life well lived. But while the surroundings were the same, I, somehow, was not. Real talk: I have not been out here changing the world, living in the wilderness or trekking across continents. But I’ve been living in a different country, exploring different places and different lives, constantly trying to push myself. And that does something to you. Sometimes, you don’t even realise that until you go home.
It made me think about what I want to get out of this year. You don’t need to read another “new year, new me!!!” post, so that isn’t what this post is about. But I am partial to a reflection and revision at this time of year. 2016 was the year I did things. A road trip around America, living in Canada, volunteering on farms. It was also the year I finished my first novel and discovered Tantra Fitness, a lovely fitness community here in Vancouver that’s improved my life in so many ways (more on that later. Maybe). I feel like it was a successful year of choices and beginnings. So, if 2016 was the year I started things, I want 2017 to be the year I build on them.
I want to travel more, further, deeper. The Yukon, Hawaii, Iceland, the east coast of Canada, Northern Scotland and Cornwall are all on my hit list this year. I want to keep working on my health and fitness and the friends I’ve made at Tantra. I want to give less of a shit about the small stuff and make more of an effort with the people that matter. To listen. To make every day count. More than anything, I want 2017 to be the year I finally secure a book deal. Ambitious, yes – but I’ve got a fierceness this year that I’ve never felt before. Maybe it comes with being a bit older. Maybe things are just at that tipping point – I’ve put in the groundwork, now I just have to push harder, harder, harder – until something explodes in glory or falls to pieces. Who knows.
So that’s me. What about you? What are your goals this year? Whether they're big or small, here's to smashing it, and to a fearless and unforgettable year.
