Let the world spin madly on

Jan 28

Jan 28 Let the world spin madly on

World Spins Madly On, by the Weepies, is one of my all-time favourite songs. It makes me stop in my tracks whenever I hear it; whether that’s a snatch from a TV show or the lilting opening guitar chords on Spotify. It’s one of those songs that’s so simple, yet says so much.

I thought about it this morning; a nondescript Saturday in January. It was 9am and I wasn’t yet dressed; just standing still with a cooling cup of tea, looking out of the window at the hulking silhouettes of crows in bare trees, at the mountains, streaked with snow, peering at me from behind the mist.

I should really get dressed, I told myself. I should write. Send emails. Or else I should clean the house, or go for a run, or text my friend back.

Should.

But then I thought, why

should

I? Is that not what I do every other day of the week? Today is a rare free day. Where does this frantic compulsion to always be “doing” something useful come from?

"I just got lost, and slept right through the dawn, and the world spins madly on"

I was listening to a podcast the other day, by Emma Gannon. She was interviewing a youtuber, and they were having a discussion about how a few years ago, being busy was all the rage. It was seen as desirable, to have no time, because we were just so damn busy. It was a sign of success. It was as if this busy-ness validated us, both to ourselves and to others. If I’m busy, I must be doing ok.

But lately, something called “self-care” has been on the rise. I read a blogpost or an article or listen to a podcast about “self-care” or “self-love” or “mindfulness” every single day. It’s trendy. There’s a lot of buzz talk – but what does it all actually mean?

Meditation is something that crops up often. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have tried meditation. I really have. I’ve tried the apps and the breathing and yet I can’t sit still and do nothing for even five minutes (literally. I tried it yesterday and had to stand up after three). It might be a sign of constant information overload, the news and opinions and sheer crap that comes rocketing towards us at every angle, that’s resulted in my non-existent attention span and chronic inability to sit still and just be.

Or, it might be that for me, and maybe you too, meditation isn't the solution. So how else can we slow down and switch off? And, more importantly, is it ok to do so?

"I watch the stars from my window sill, the whole world is moving, and I am standing still"

Back to this morning, when my to-do list was gleefully constructing itself like Jenga a tower in my head.

You have so much to do,

a little voice said.

Get a move on.

For once, I spoke back. I took out a brick and sent the tower tumbling to the ground.

Why should I?

I stayed in my pyjamas, gleeful in my rebellion, grabbed a blanket, and proceeded to spend the next three hours curled up, reading. To me, that’s better than meditation – getting wrapped up in a different world, letting a talented author’s creation completely surround me. And do you know what? The world didn’t end. Despite my innate sense of urgency, this morning, nothing was expected of me. I wasn’t meant to be anywhere. I was free to just be.

And I realised, that’s ok. The truth is, there’s always more we could be doing. Publicly, personally.

The world spins madly on.

But perhaps, just for this morning – let it.