Why I Can't Drive

Let’s get down to it. I’m 25, and I can’t drive yet. This is mainly for two reasons:

a.)

I’ve never really needed to before, and;

b.)

It scares the shit out of me.

I’ll start with the first.

Up until about two years ago, I lived in the centre of Edinburgh. And I mean right in the centre of town. Everything was walkable within about 10 minutes, plus the bus service was amazing. Really, having a car would have been a bit of a hindrance – the roads were always congested, and parking was rare/expensive where I lived. Only about a third of my friends ever learned to drive, and they were the ones who lived on the outskirts of town. The rest of us? It was never a problem, or even a thought that crossed our minds. Plus, to be frank, there was always something better to spend my money on. Especially aged 17. Holidays. Prom dresses. Travelling. Driving seemed like an unnecessary (and pricey) hassle.

Fast forward to 2015. I live in Surrey, and still can’t drive. For anyone not familiar, Surrey is essentially a handful of towns roughly clustered together and referred to as a county. Connecting these towns? Motorways. Vast expanses of countryside. Fields. None of which lend themselves very well to pedestrians.

I can remember the exact moment when Not Being Able to Drive became a problem. When I first moved down to Surrey, Phil and I were living with his dad and step-mum in a little estate, quite far removed from the nearest town. I was looking for a job at the time, so while everyone left for work during the day, I was pretty much stranded in the house. The most I could do was walk to the local Spar and back, or go for a run in the woods. Fine for a week, but after a couple of months I was starting to feel seriously independence-starved.

I set out early one morning, determined to explore and not be limited by my situation - and walked for three hours without finding another shop. I just walked and walked on the tiny path next to the main road, for miles and miles and miles, until my feet ached and I was close to tears. Looking back, I’ve never felt so helpless or trapped in my whole life. Phil’s family were so kind to let me stay with them, but when we moved to a house of our own in a busy town (where everything is in walking distance) I was so relieved. I felt like myself again, and less dependent on everyone else to get me around.

Not driving does have its advantages. Walking everywhere has always kept me pretty fit, and you don’t take anything for granted. I’m never the designated driver, so am free to enjoy more than the one drink when we go out. But still - even though I could now walk everywhere I needed to, and was within 30 seconds of a train station, it was still pretty clear I needed to learn to drive.

To see any of my friends, I had to take the train for an hour – whereas the journey door to door would only be 20 minutes in a car. Costly monthly train tickets to work and daily delays only hammered the fact home. Telling people at work that I couldn’t drive produced shocked reactions, and I’ve had to cancel freelance meetings due to not being able to make it to remote offices. Most of all – we’re going to America in December. A huge trip, travelling from state to state. I don’t want to leave all that driving to Phil. I want to be the one behind the steering wheel, driving us along those massive American highways, not relegated to navigator 24/7. Yep – the problem of Not Being Able to Drive has to go.

But any of you who drive will know: learning is pretty damn expensive. So it’s only now, 2 years after we moved here, that I’m vaguely in the position to start learning (along with generous birthday contributions from my family). I’m about to book my theory test and my first lessons. I have so many questions – which are the best driving schools? How many hours do I need? What if I just

can’t

do it?

Which brings me on to my second point.

Driving freaking terrifies me.

I don’t really know why. I only know that the thought of cruising along in what is essentially a fragile tin can at 70mph, with other tin cans zooming around in front and behind me, makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. The thought of other people being in the car with me, and being temporarily responsible for their lives? That makes me want to hide under the covers and never come out. Am I the only one who feels like this?

Either way, I’m starting my driving journey. And I’m terrified, and nervous, and excited, and all those things. But I’m determined, and I’m going to bring you along with me.

I’m going to post a picture of me cruising along in America when that moment comes in six months’ time.

But before that – I need your help. Driving doesn’t feel like a big deal to some people. I bet for some who have been driving for years, you’re shaking your head in disbelief at this post. It might feel as natural to you as walking down the street. 

So I need you to tell me so.

Share your happy driving stories. Tell me about when you passed, your best road trip, your tips for learning to drive. I’d really appreciate it, and hopefully you can help me finally turn my driving license from green to pink.